Hello fellow Bloggers and readers! It's time for an update.
You may have noticed that I had not posted for, well, a LONG time. Well, I just didn't think my blog was worth it because no one reads it and if they do, no one comments. I thought about this for a long time and came to one conclusion. IT SHOULDN'T MATTER.
That's right, it shouldn't matter to me because although I want to educate readers about MS, I also need an outlet for my frustrations and this is it.
So I will continue to post and hopefully someone is reading. If you are, please let me know what you think. With that being said, here is an update on my life and Daily Living with MS.
I have since the last post taken disability because going to work just got too difficult and I also needed insurance. My condition has gotten worse. I have more difficulty walking with the walker and I am trying to get an electric wheelchair. I have a manual one that I use when I go out sometimes but it doesn't have the big wheels so I can't push myself, I need someone to push me.
My friends and family aren't so loving anymore, I guess they are getting tired of me. It's not easy dealing with a handicapped person. I don't get out much anymore, just church and Dr. appointments. I don't see my friends anymore either, they are busy and even when I call they don't answer or return messages. Three out of four of my kids live on their own and two of them hate me right now, not sure what I did wrong but, there you go! One still lives with me but even he sometimes makes annoyed faces at me when I ask him to do something for me.
Even my loving husband isn't so loving anymore.
But no matter how I feel, my God is still with me. He doesn't leave me. He sustains me. He comforts me when my heart is breaking and when my body is riddled with pain. If it weren't for Him I would perish!
So, do I still trust in God through my struggles? Absolutely! I couldn't get through my days if I didn't. I want to let people know that I may struggle, cry, doubt, question, yell, get angry, have needs and feel like a failure but I still cry out to Jesus because He sustains me, forgives me and helps me get through the day so that I may face another and hopefully bless someone with what I have learned.
So, I pick myself up, dust myself off, thank Him for His mercy and put on some lipstick! Tomorrow awaits me and I face it with renewed hope.
NBL
